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Thursday, 16 April 2009
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Worst day ever
So far...
I ended up working out before bed. I played DDR for like 20 minutes. I drank like 6 cups of tea to try to stop myself from eating. Then I couldn't sleep.
My boyfriend gained like 50 lbs since we moved in together, I love him for who he is so its not changing him in my eyes, but it has physical consequences. He now snores, loud, like a lawn mower, and he has no energy, he falls asleep like an hour before I do and I lay there and listen to him snore. My cats were also being rambunctious, he would stop snoring for almost long enough for me to fall asleep and then my cat would jump on me. I hate trying to fall asleep.
Other things that happen in a bed are also suffering due to his weight gain but we wont get into that -.-...
I had to get up 2 hours earlier than usual, and totally overdosed on caffeine to try to stay awake, then I wound up getting sick and trashing half my breakfast that was supposed to be my only meal today. So now Im on no vitamins, no food, my boyfriend is two hours away at a power plant, along with all my guy friends who usually keep me busy. Im soo close to conking out on the counter of this java hut, haha.
Im definately going to the gym tonight, if not the gym than Ill go to the yoga class they have on campus, or both. I dont know whats going to perk me up between now and then, but something has to. Maybe Ill have a decaf tea latte with soy milk. Sounds wonderful.
Fastttt
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I applied at 6 flags for the summer, Im all nerves that they are going to call me. I want to work there but they require that you take out your facial piercings and ofcourse my nose ring just finally healed after 2 years of fighting with it, sigh. I also have a visible tattoo on my neck that I can only partially cover with my hair, Im such a rebel, a stupid stupid rebel.
Where do you girls get your thinspo, I have a small collection but its quite fragmented, nothing really goes together. Maybe I just need to collect longer...
Ill update later
<3
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
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mushrooms...
are the food of the gods, its true.
So I tried to make an entry earlier but I was distracted by the beautiful weather. But its dark now so we are good. It doesn't really matter because the first one went along these lines imfatimfatimfatimfatimfatimfatimfatimfatimfatimfatimfat!
Today's intake
Breakfast:
kashi bar 120
banana 100
soy latte 170
Snack:
grapes, not counting that
apple, not counting that
Lunch:
Rice noodles 270
chex mix 200
Dinner:
Vegitarian chicken nuggets: 200
an obscene amount of vegetables, not counting that lol
total: 1060
All those people who tell you in high school, that there is no rush to decide what you want in life, are lying their faces off. Decide, do some soul searching and decide! I didn't decide until two and a half years into college and now it seems like I'm ten years behind and struggling to chase a dream I now want more than anything! Take a bunch of classes in high school, do some volunteer work, see a career counselor, just don't wait like I did.
So Friday I have a test, and a surgery to do, and an article to present to the lab staff on, and my financial aid is officially late, so stressed...
Im liquid fasting tomorrow, for my first time. Im nervous, Im going to start after breakfast and taking my vitamins. So an official start at 9 am, Ill go for 12 hours...9 to 9.
Im allowing myself decaffinated tea, water, one low cal smoothie, one or two juices, and spring veggie cup a soup. At nine Ill have some veggies if Im very bothered by my stomach. Wish me luck!
Ive gotten myself a nice cup of tea and now I will search for some thinspo for my collection, Ill post a ton when I get an acceptable amount.
<3
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
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117
:(
Well its alright, I ate late last night...
Yesterday did not go as planned. I was busy all day, I had to go get my taxes done, go grocery shopping, my boyfriend wanted me to go with him to get his hair cut, then we cleaned my apartment from 4 to 830 (not finished), then I did calculus until 1 am (didnt finish that either). That's an intense amount of activity. I didn't eat that whole time so I was starving, and my boyfriend made me rice and veggies. The veggies were fine but the rice...siigh.
Today has been iffy so far. I slept late, was late to neuro, spent my whole lunch break finishing my calculus, then I had class until right now. I haven't taken my vitamins yet and I'm starving!
Intake
Kashi granola bar 120 cals
banana 100 cals
soy latte 170 cals
rice noodles and veggies 270 cals
total so far: 660 cals
That is pretty substantial and I'm still hungry, I'm going to try to stay under 1000...I always say that.
I hate carbs...
But my my its beautiful outside. Too bad by the time I get done with my homework and off campus it will be dark. I definately planned on bringing work out clothes to school today but alas, I slept late and forgot. I can do strength training exercises and play some DDR when I get home...After I finish filling out FAFSA...*stressss*
Tomorrow though, I have plenty of time to work out. I am going to do it to...
For dinner Ill have a small amount of veggie sushi and some fruit. When I get home Ill have an apple and some cabbage soup, shouldnt be more than 400 cals. Also tea, copious amounts of tea. Tea is my favorite thing to put in my body, low cal, yummy, and good for your body and spirit. I probably drink a toxic amount, at least 40 ounces of Arizona diet green, and like 3 cups of hot yogi detox. I have an oral fixation, which used to make me fat before I became a tea drinker.
Im pretty excited about how fast I gained friends, thanks everyone who decided I wasnt a creeper. Ill be trying my hardest to respond to all your comments.
Im going to post a small amount of thinspo later, cant do it now because Im at the Java hut at school and there are people creeping around me side glancing my computer. Creepers...
My boyfriends birthday is on the 25th, we have been dating for 3 years and live together so I have no clue what to get him??? Any suggestions, hes an engineer and a total nerd, lol.
<3<3
Sunday, 12 April 2009
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Introoo...
Hi, I'm Marla (not my real name, being secretive, but I like it better than my real name...it'll do) ...this is my weight loss blog, yes another one...I know...there's a thousand of them on xanga...I even had another one but I was being incredibly fake so this one is for me to be completely real. Its funny, I can only be real on a blog that is completely separated from my life...so here we go
I'm a 21 year old college student, I'm studying to be a neuroscientist, I love animals but I work in a rat lab. I just happen to also love performing brain surgeries and behavioral conditioning trials (isnt it better for them to have someone in the lab who completely and wholesomely cares about their comfort more than anyone else could?). Im a vegetarian almost vegan, Im weening my way down, having issues giving up cheese and butter...Im fat and selfish.
Im smart and not afraid to admit it. I have the logic and reasoning skills of a philosopher (my minor), I understand politics (was my major before I took my first brain science class), Im an expert in the lab which is practically my second home, and I thrive on classic literature and movies...and oh...do I love movies.
I live, breath, and dream movies...actors, screenplays, character development, sequels, the oscars, film festivals, Its and entirely distracting and all consuming hobby...I cant go a day without quoting a movie in conversation. I write screenplays and keep a journal just to record the random thoughts that go through my head throughout the day about movies I have seen or need to see. I also dont pretend Ive seen every movie there is, but Ill make an effort to watch anything someone else brings up that I havent seen.
I also enjoy British comedy, tennis, antiques, art, House, David Bowie, and Coldplay (seeing them live in August!!).
I dont enjoy parties, country music, the country in general, drinking, girly girl stuff, small talk, team sports, managing my finances, and obnoxious people.
Im here to lose more weight, I say more because Ive already lost about 30 lbs. I was 146, now Im 116 (on a good day)...Im 5'3 and flabby. I just want to be comfortable naked. I eat a normal amount for now but I shouldnt, beacause Im to busy...or lazy...to work out.
My next goal is 110, then after that it is 105, then finally 100. Im getting old, some people will act like Im not but I see how fast my life is flying by. I want to be young and attractive and confident and free while Im supposed to be, not later on in life when its only a novelty. I wasted so many years of my life feeling bad about myself and ignoring all the opportunities I had to change. Ive been incredibly ungreatful for everything that the world has to offer, fresh air, clean natural food, a working body, and consciousness...thats really all I need.
Im also a minimalist and a beginner Buddhist. I love America, but Im not a fan of the current mentalities in American culture, the bigger and more is better mentality. I vow only to use what I need and nothing more, that is harder to do than it sounds but im trying. I hate waste, I hate excess.
Im a huge fan of thinspo, on a lighter note. I will probably be posting some...and I will probably enjoy other collections. I see the female body as a beautiful work of art and there is no shame in looking at pictures to help regain your self control.
I ate pizza yesterday, and chinese food and ice cream today. This is not usually like me, but Ive fallen into a slump..I need motivation. A detox is in order...tomorrow is a green tea and salad day. All I can eat is salad, fruit, and vegetable soup. A granola bar in the morning will be my only carb all day. I will probably consume upwards of 40 ounces of green tea (iced and hot). Ill also drink some laxative tea before bed tonight. Ill have to pay for all the crap Ive put in myself this past weekend.
I dont have class tomorrow but Im still going to get up early. Im spending all day cleaning my apartment. This will be a lot of good exercise since my clothes are alll dirty and the laundry mat is a good walk from my place. I better sweat. I will sweat.
Then tuesday I start back at the gym. One hour 4 times a week.
Lets give me, 2 weeks to lose the first 6 lbs. Its a generous amount of time. I will succeed.
thinspo later.
<3marla
Saturday, 11 April 2009
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Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Xanga... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!"
braaaiiinnnsss
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- Name: braaaiiinnnsss
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 4/11/2009
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About Me
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College student studying to be a neuroscientist, scientist in all aspects of life, incredibly caught up in being perfect all the time, vegetarian almost vegan, always on a diet, film fanatic, David Bowie's number one fan...
